Day -18: Stubbornness

Frankly saying, stubbornness is all that left in my soul. I have no explanation for what I want to start, to do. All I see and understand seems talk to me: See? It’s stupid. I will be a failure. You can live beautifully if you not go.  It’s a waist of time, waist of life.

There is nothing in me except the sheer will. Nothing else. No reasons. No goals. No expectations. Strange. Maybe it is wrong. Maybe it will end with harm. To me, to others….

I’m taking a weight on my shoulders, without a clear reason, against all odds. This is not, how reasonable person acts. Maybe it will be a mistake. One of some, I made in my life. I don’t know. But can we evaluate our life? If every evaluation comes from a perspective, and perspective is constantly changing…?

Yesterday I made over 20 km. Today I’m not feel quite well so I won’t go anywhere. Does not matter. Maybe we just put to much weight to things in our life. We take it to seriously, what happens to us, what has happend, what will or would… To seriously, to heavily, and in that way just unseriously.

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